The Last 5 Years
by LandynPaige
Summary: This is a love story. About two boys who in the end discover that not everything lasts forever. The story begins at the end, and works its way through the past, watching as Draco and Harry fall out of love, into love, and into each other. Canon - ish. T for now. Angst.
1. Falling Apart

Draco looked at the sleeping boy, the moonlight sneaking between the curtains of the four poster bed. It was so dark in their little nest that Draco could almost pretend that he couldn't tell what color the curtains were, he could almost convinced himself that they were green, that this was a dream, that this was some other life. Instead he knew, even if he couldn't tell the colors apart in the darkness, he knew this was no other world, no other life, that morning was quickly approaching.

His eyes flicked down to the sleeping boy, he looked so different this way, with out the weight of everything resting on his shoulders, absent was the ridge his eyebrows created on his forehead that Draco had thought for the longest time was just part of his face. But in sleep and without his glasses, it seemed to vanish. As if everything that made Potter himself disappeared when he slept, Draco had to fight the urge to move his hand and trace the spot where the V called home. Instead he moved his eyes away, and move his eyesight to the others boy neck, and then chest and followed to his hands. The rough hands that ghosted his body, that he had spent years days thinking about.

His hands told the story of everything that happened, of everything they lived through. And he wondered, if this had happened at a different time, a different world if he would be able to hear the whole story, with out filling in the blanks, with out sifting through rumors and lies, he wanted Harry to tell him, in every way again and again. This time he could not stop himself, his hand moved to ghost of the fingers of the boy beside him, hoping he wouldn't wake. Draco just wanted to memorize his hands, wanted to feel them so he could remember him. They looked dark against his own pale skin, rough in comparison, Draco did not carry his scars on his hands, instead, they trailed up, up his forearms, where a tattoo sat, faded slightly, but in the darkness, Draco cold see it. "You have a V, between your eyes when you frown." His bed mates rough voice broke the silence, and it felt like shouting.

Draco did not look away from his hands, he simply smiled in irony. "I didn't mean to wake you," he commented softly, whispering so that he could hardly hear himself.

"I don't sleep well," Harry answered softly. "Not anymore."

"You should." Draco half scolded. "The Savior of the Wizarding World deserves sleep." he did not mean to make it sound so harsh, but he could fell the ice in every letter and traveling up his veins.

Potter's body changed, but still Draco did not look up, he simply let the comfort and ease slowly drain. "Don't call me that." he whispered Draco almost felt guilty. "I can't - not from you,"

Draco said nothing, and the silence returned. And for a while he wondered if Potter had nodded off again, if he was oblivious to the ice storm that happened inside of his veins.

"This can't happen again." Potter whispered.

"It can't." Draco agreed with out a second pause.

Potter continued on. "It shouldn't have happened this time,"

"It shouldn't have." He once again agreed

"You're getting married." Potter whispered in a voice that cracked, the same way Draco's heart did.

His eyes flickered up to the green orbs that were looking down at him, as if he held all of the answers. And Draco, wished for a moment that he did, wished that there was a world where he would never stop looking at him like that. "So are you," He whispered, and Potter did not look away.

There was no argument, no excuse, because it was true.

The pressure on Draco's hand grew. He squeezed harder. "I have to."

"I know."

It didn't matter which said it, that was always the excuse, and that was always the answer.

"Go to sleep." Potter whispered softly, his body moving closer to Draco's.

"I'm not tired." It was a lie, but Potter know that, he knew Draco meant to say, I don't want to waste the last hours he had.

"I want to sleep with you," Potter whispered, finding a place against Draco's chest.

Draco did not argue, only squeezed Potters hand, closed his eyes, listening to the nothing, and felt slowly, the V relax from his forehead. Sleep took him beneath her arms, and when he awoke, He was alone.


	2. Fooling

The bar was crowded, the music was loud. Blood and the beat rushed through Draco's ears and he couldn't help but lean his head back, and move his body to the tune. This was his one escape, his one place where the world could stop for a moment. And in that moment he could stop being Draco Malfoy. he was no one in the crowed, he was unimportant, invisible. in the noise he could forget. There was something wonderful about that. Whispers were drowned out with the band, and stares were lost in the dark. There were no rules here, no father, no newspapers, no girls with red hair, or friends pity stares, there was no soon to be wife there was nothing but the half-drunk memories he would carry, or if he was luck, he could forget, because here - nothing mattered.

Perhaps it was that that made it so easy to sway over to the bar, moving his hips in tune, like he was still dancing. It was what made it so easy to slide in next to a boy with black hair, styled in a way that made Draco's breath catch. but it was the lights, it was the music, it was his mind and the wish that it was him. He did not look up. There was no way. Potter wouldn't be caught dead here, he knew that, how many times had he convinced the black haired boy to go with him, and how many bars had he sulked in the corner of - ruining the blonds night. Draco knew that Potters distaste of loud and filled places couldn't be changed. Not even by a red haired girl.

But that didn't change Draco's dare to go up beside him, to sit in the seat, to live on the edge, like he had, every night since they announced boy wonders engagement. He was such a Gryffindor these days, the past him of 5 years ago would be horrified, and the past him last year would be glad. The current him no longer dwelled on things like that. He looked to his left. The sober him relaxed, and the drunk him felt him ask for another shot. It wasn't Potter.

"Hey." The boy said, softly. And Draco ever the flirt sent a smile. He played pretty little thing. Let the black haired boy buy him shots, let him touch his hair, let him lead him to the backroom. He let him capture his mouth and shove him against the wall in the dark corner. He wanted to feel something, and feel nothing. Overwhelming oblivion.

He left, with out even catching the other boys name. He had fallen so far, he noted, from the soft virgin that Harry - Potter had touched, to now. A half drunk back room fuck. He walked away from the bar, trying to get visions of Potter's eyes and the bar stranger, he was getting things confused, time lines mixed up. he spun, trying apperate home - for a second her was worried about splinching, but it didn't matter, he wouldn't feel it, Potter already took the parts of Draco that mattered.

He asked to go home, how he got to Grimalde place - he didn't know. But there he stood in front of number 12, shaking. There was a pull there, the half-drunk newly found gryffindor side of him screaming to take the stairs in leaps, he was starving without Potter. The Sober Slytherin half told him to walk away.

The lion whispered – where had listening to the snake gotten him?

The snake whispered alive,

The lion whispered what was the point of that?

He was knocking loudly, hard, fast, he wondered how long it would take to split open a knuckle. But before he could find out, Potter opened the door, the annoyance fade to shock, faster then the blood drained from his face. "Draco" his name never seemed so heavy before.

"I need you." He felt himself whispering.

"Draco" His Harry sighed, not moving to let him in and Draco's eyes gazed passed him. "You can't be here,"

"Is she here?" He whispered softly.

"No."

Draco felt something lift from his chest. "Let me stay."

His Harry looked at him. "I can't, you can't"

Draco moved closer. "I need you."

"I have work in the morning." Potter whispered back

"I need you tonight."

"Draco…."

"I need you, Harry" saying his name was like giving into the thirst. The black haired boy closed his eyes and swallowed, Draco remembered pretending nothing existed,

There was beat of silence. And then Potter opened the door. "We shouldn't."

"Just tonight" Draco said softly, entering the house that he once considered home.


	3. The Second Time

_**The Last Five Years - Part 3**_

 _In which Draco's heart breaks for the second time._

 _Part 1_

 _Part 2_

Draco opened the cupboard for the fourth time this morning, as the rules of magic could break themselves and food would magically transfigure itself into something decent looking.

He could call out, he couldn't go out, leave the apartment that he hadn't left in over 24 hours and go out and get food. Or - Merlin forbid even go shopping. But he didn't feel like it, he didn't want to, he didn't have to. He had food - the problem was he wasn't hungry, and eating - it felt like chewing ash. It didn't matter what it was, he just - didn't want to eat. But he knew he should, Pansy had commented, asked if he was trying to look like a skeleton. And it was not in his plan, he had always been thin, but trying to explain to her that he just wasn't hungry, that he was never hungry anymore, seemed to fall on deaf ears

He sighed pulling cereal from the top shelf - trying not to remember all the things it meant. It was just a muggle cereal, picked up from a grocery store that he had only gone to alone, and why should he stop buying the things he enjoyed in fear of the memories attached. Why should he let Saint Potter have so much control of his life. He took a breath and shook his head, and poured the cereal into a bowl. He would not let this be ruined. Going to the fridge he got out the milk and watched as it fell. Sitting at the table he began to eat. taking one bite and hoping that it would taste like something other then bitter memories. It tasted stale.

He made a face but took another bite his eyes scanning around to find the news paper, to distract himself from the bit that used to be his favorite. Trying to convince himself that he would open it and there would be a story about Honey Nut Cherrio's was having a re-call that would explain the sour. But it didn't instead what stared back at him were two large eyes and that he knew to well.

This wasn't the first time that he opened the paper up to Boy Wonder's face. It wasn't the first time he saw the smiling grin that he wanted to rip of each tooth one by one. Potter was after all a hero, and he remembered back in school - the summers where the ministry fawned over his enemy, or called him crazy. He remembered in 7th year when Potter was missing, those green eyes followed him everywhere. Then there was after the war and Potter's face shone from the front page every single day. And it continued, so he shouldn't be surprised, and he wasn't. But the newspaper was like the cereal - he could not let Potter ruin it.

So Draco let himself read the title and that was a mistake.

That was the second... third biggest mistake of his life, in big bold letters. Was the words. Engaged.

Those words were no strangers. That Head line was no stranger. He remembered back to the first time he read that. The first time he saw those words - in that order... back then - he was happy and now... now he was nothing.

That was a lie. He tossed the paper to the side, the pages flying everywhere, messing up the spotless apartment. Draco Malfoy was only one thing, He was thirsty.

The Cereal was forgotten. Instead Draco reached for the Fire whiskey.

It only took 30 minutes for Pansy, Blaise and Astoria to enter into the apartment. But by then the bottle was half gone, and Daco was enjoying not being anything.


End file.
